But God damn the bitch is Derpy!
And every time I try to be nice to her or respond to one of her random questions or comments I immediately regret it the next time she does something stupid. Which is always!
Once again I went into the bathroom to find the floor mat hanging half assed off the bathtub. Completely soaked. And once again I have to ask - what in the actual FUCK is The Derp doing in the damn tub that would toss that much water out of it? More here on the first soaked rug:
I deduced that she must have thrown herself an at home spa day while MSMF and I were in Palm Springs. The foil wraps and smell of acetone wafting from the trash can gave her away. I was over it. I told her to dry the rug and take care of her shit. God forbid she throw away the trash and clean up after herself more than once in 4 months.
The following week she leaves for work in the morning and locks herself out. As I'm opening the door, "Forgot my keys! he he he". Yeah. Whatever Derpster.
She really outdid herself two days ago. The absolute worst absentminded derp to date.
The bloody pads in the bathroom trash, haphazardly wrapped and tossed in, absolutely grossed me out. Making matters worse they continued to build up in a nasty pile as the week went by. I swear to God I can almost smell the dank of old blood. I'm sorry ya'll but it's true. Fucking makes me gag and furious. I have to go through this every month. I haven't had a period in maybe... 10+ years, so I'm good. But even when I did have my periods I was clean. And kept my sanitary issues to myself. But nooooo, not this Derp.
I popped into the bathroom to take a shower and while changing, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.
A blood smear on the toilet seat.
I quickly turned off the shower, put my pants back on, and cleared the bathroom in a grossed out rage. I texted her, "Hey - there's blood on the toilet seat...". Her reply, "Eeek sorry I'll go clean that right now". This is just in line with the other stains and odd marks near the light switch and in the toilet that I've spotted over the last few months. Does the Derp not notice the shit stains when she uses the can? Does she not know that you should wash your hands after using the bathroom, which she doesn't?
Fuck man. Just re-reading all that makes me want to choke a bitch.
And I'm definitely not taking that damn trash out. I told her this morning, since this weekend is slated for cleaning up the place, that the trash her is her responsibility. As if that's anything. Adding a bit of passive-aggressive knife work I said, "Thanks. It's starting to smell funky."
Funky Derp.
Ugh.
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