Lazily waking, talking, laughing... it's my favorite part of the day and that's saying A LOT because I am NOT a morning person. My Mom loves to recount that when I was a little girl I would wake up, walk down the hall of my Grandmother's home, and without saying a word - even though my Mom and Grandmother would give me a hearty "good morning Kryslin" - I would sit down in my little kid sized rocking chair and proceed to rock vigorously for 20 or so minutes. After the rocking stopped I was good to engage but not before. I don't have an adult sized rocking chair in my place but I still need 20 or so minutes. At least.
After a minute or two of silence, MSMF pulls me in closer and thoughtfully asks me "if you had a penis for 24 hours what would you do?" What men don't know if that every woman has an immediate response to this question because yeah, we've thought about it. Without missing a beat I blurt out, "I would pee wherever I wanted to standing up, waggle my dick around for no good reason, and get some bitches to get down on my dick." Because, you know, in my mind I've got a large perfect penis and can just whistle over some women to please me. That's realistic, right? MSMF audibly snorts out loud and says "Yeah, it's that easy."
He then asks me some clarification questions that, for knowing what I was going to say immediately to having a penis, I didn't have the slightest answers for like "how many shakes would I give my penis after peeing?" And "why do I want to 'waggle' my dick around and at what?" To divert from not knowing what I would say and now feeling overwhelmed by my imaginary 24 hour Dirk Diggler, I ask MSMF "well, what would you do if you had a vagina for 24 hours?" His response, "Fisting."
Let me make sure you read that correctly. He said "FISTING."
It honestly came out more like an uneasy question than a statement but damn ya'll. MSMF didn't go immediately for "I want to pee sitting down." Or "I would pleasure myself to see what it's like." He went for "what's fisting like?" Sweet baby Jesus in a basket I have no fucking idea! I found his response so hilarious and horrifying that I wasn't sure what to say. So naturally we did what we do best. We talked it out.
Me: "Why fisting?!"
MSMF: "I don't know. What would that be like?"
Me: "Jesus I don't know. How would I know?"
MSMF: "Nevermind, I was just kidding babe. I was going for shock value."
Me: "Well color me shocked but seriously who even thinks of fisting!?"
MSMF: "I mean, is it something worth trying?"
Me: "Personally, I don't understand it though I think I've seen it. Have you seen it?"
MSMF: "You've seen it!? I don't think I've seen it."
Me: *mouth hanging open slightly not knowing what to say next*
MSMF: "My response was more, like, curiosity babe."
Me: "Who the fuck is curious about fisting? You'd be curious about fisting if you had a vagina for 24 hours? I'm not sure you realize just how hard it would be to work your way up to taking a whole fist! I mean, you'd have to be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway down there."
MSMF: *mouth hanging open slightly not knowing what to say next*
Me: "Fisting. Jesus."
MSMF/Me: *silence*
MSMF: "So, what do you want for breakfast?"
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56786/how-do-you-fist-a-woman/
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