I find that earmarking something to do on a Thursday somehow makes the week go by faster. This isn't science, it's just my opinion. Or maybe there is some science to it... Google it and let me know.
Though in all seriousness, who doesn't need more titties in their lives? And I'm not talking the current day bolt-ons you see in droves around LA. I'm talking the gratuitously exposed, organically grown titties of the 80's. Today marks the 5th installment of TBTT. We're going to feature one of my childhood favorites, Revenge of the Nerds. To quote my Mom and I's favorite line, "What the fuck is a robster craw?"
So why is today not Titty Thursdays or 80's Throwback Thursdays? Why is it specifically TBTT? The "Trash Bin" bit of Titty Thursdays is the reason for this post and Thursday ritual. We started TBTT with one of the worst films to date, Private Resort. Private Resort is part of a 6 movie Blu-ray collection called 80's Overdrive that MSMF bought from the sale bin of God knows where for a whopping $6 or $8. You know the bin I'm talking about. The cheap cardboard box full of DVDs marking the turning point of the line at Best Buy that you're forced to look through because you're so damn bored. Yeah, that one. Or the bin at your local 7-11 that everyone throws their receipts in.
Though MSMF felt that Johnny Depp's actual ass and appearance in Private Resort made the movie 80's gold, I stood up after an hour and half of my life that I couldn't get back and said, "I don't think I could watch another one of those trash bin titty movies". Or something like that. But it stuck. And so did watching the other three fucking movies in the collection because dammit, we're not quitters.
The only real thing that kept me watching, aside from the morbid curiosity of where the story would actually go, was the gamble - how many titties were we going to see? Private Resort reached a solid titty count of 6. Or 7. I don't really recall, as I was drowning myself in my wine glass to get to the end of the movie. The following week was Perfect, starring John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis. I don't think that needs anymore explanation, just that the movie almost ruined John Travolta's career. Titty count: 2 We thought we were losing our tit count as we made our way into the trash bin Overdrive collection but we were mistaken! Hardbodies garnered a total of 18 titties flashed throughout the movie, followed by a close second for titty count by Spring Break which we both felt had strong male gay overtones until the spring break bar scene where the movie went from a 2 tit count to 14 within a matter of one minute.
Moral of this story? Be careful what you buy from discount movie bins or you might find yourself, drink in hand, counting tits on a Thursday. I know, I'm sure there are worse ways to spend a Thursday evening.
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