F*cking Fleas

My Special Man Friend's ("MSMF") roommate's cat Sushi (God that was a mindful) has fucking fleas.

We didn't know this until we showed up for a couple night stay. I saw she had a flea collar on and was itching now and then but it wasn't until I saw the tell tale black flea eggs, that look like pepper, that I knew we had a problem.

I don't think anyone on this planet likes fleas. Having grown up with pets most my life, fleas were just a nuisance you had to take care of every Summer season. My dislike of fleas went from no thank you to eat shit and die sometime in the early 2000's. I was dating a Special Forces Ranger who moved off base with a couple military buddies. There was nothing special about the house but there was something special about the room he was staying in. With just a lamp and a mattress on the floor, we tucked in for our first night there. Before turning the light off, I could have swore the floor was... moving. Wondering if I was just seeing things, I sat up and looked around. The floor as well as the comforter were in fact moving!

FLEAS WERE JUMPING EVERYWHERE!

Naturally, I freaked the fuck out. I won't get into the details but suffice it to say they were everywhere. Turns out the prior tenant kept their nasty little dog in that room. We dumped so many chemicals in that room that it was basically inhospitable. I felt like my skin was crawling and felt phantom bites for weeks after returning home. You don't just get over something like that.

So what do you think happened when we went to bed that first night back at MSMF's place? I found a flea chewing on my ankle. I either brought it upstairs with me or it was already there, waiting in the shadows for me. Regardless I slept fully under the covers, sweating my balls off. Fucking fleas. The part that really pisses me off the most is not the restlessness and constant checking of your exposed skin to see if there's a flea there but that fact that we're probably going to bring flea eggs home to my place! My sweet Jaja is an indoor kitty and never has fleas. God help me if we bring fleas back to LA and Jaja gets them.

The only fun I've had with this 2 day flea drama is sliding up close to MSMF, latching my hands and feet onto him while clacking my teeth together, pretending to play bite him. I make the cutest flea - nem nem nem nem~!