Flap Meat

While My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") and I were in Virginia over the Thanksgiving holiday we did some amazing cooking with my Mom.

Chicken and dumplings. Steak, lobster, and scallops. Two turkeys, one fried one in the oven. Not to mention all the side dishes - spinach cheese balls, deviled eggs, cookies, etc.

The one dinner I was not too thrilled with was my Mom's Sichuan chicken. I love spicy food and love Chinese, so what's the problem? I didn't have one until I offered to help prep by trimming the fat off the chicken. Cutting the bags of chicken open I was horrified to find that it wasn't breast meat.

It was flap meat.

Seriously, what the fuck is flap meat? Where the hell is the flap of a chicken?

There was so much fat and gristle on the little bits of meat that it was impossible to trim. That kind of meat grosses me out and certainly isn't something I would want to eat.

To make light of the situation, MSMF and I started teasing one another about the flap meat - calling it the slappy flappy. Flappy yappy. Ol' flappy slappy.

This goes a bit further back than the janky chicken. MSMF can't stand to touch raw meat with his hands, which I find unique and totally hilarious. He also isn't the biggest fan of being teased by the sounds meat makes slapping together in your hands. You know the sound, that thick, funky slappy slappy sound like two people bumping uglies.

Thaaat sound.

So now we tease each other about our own private flap meats. Our shared flap meats. Our ol' flappy yappys.

I just have to remind myself not to make that sucking meaty sound with the inside of my mouth to accentuate our slappy flappyness. MSMF hates that and will give me a stern, "Baby!"