Why Won't You Just Shut Up?

Why won't you just shut up?

And I mean you, yes you. But also me, yes me.

What is it that makes it impossible for some people to shut the fuck up?

I suffer from this problem. Its like there's something broken between my brain, my heart and my mouth. There's no amount of Imodium to fix the spurting and sudden oral flood of thoughts and emotions that come out. If something stupid or wrong is being said I am physically incapable of just internally thinking "well they're fucking stupid" and just moving on with my day. Instead, I can't let it go. I HAVE to say something. And if this person is being belligerent about whatever they're saying or doing, I take it upon myself to get all in that mess and attempt to correct or fix the situation. Why? WHY!?

Is it stubbornness? Stupidity? An obsession with being right? Loving to argue? Hear yourself talk?

Christ.

Why can't you just shut the hell up and move on? Not everyone has to be engaged and what does it matter if this person doesn't see your point of view or agree with your opinion? Fuck em! Let. It. Go.

This past weekend I got into a stupid argument with one of my girlfriends while on a gals trip out of town. What was the topic you ask? Guns. Guns on Bureau of Land Management (BLM) land. I'm not the biggest fan of guns but I support the right to be able to own a gun. I also support and understand the need to have land and areas that people are allowed to recreationally shoot said guns. My girlfriend was arguing that guns shouldn't be allowed on BLM land. Which to me was totally stupid because that's one of the few places you are LEGALLY allowed to have a God damn gun! We both dug our heels in, causing our third girlfriend to try and play moderator. That didn't work out for her either. Eventually she got on my case about "not dropping it" which leads us to the purpose of this post - why didn't I just stand down?

First off, it never goes over well when anyone directly says or insinuates that someone should be quiet. I've never actually seen anyone in the history of ever shut the hell up when directly asked or told to do so. 

Maybe I just know the wrong sort of people. Maybe I am the wrong sort of person.

Which brings me to my next point. Secondly, you can't just call a conversation or disagreement dead because you say so. And the fact that someone says "you're now making this into a problem because you won't drop it" is just gaslighting. You draw a person in to the discussion but then want the topic dropped when someone makes a level headed argument for why you might be wrong or for why they disagree with you and you refuse to discuss the matter otherwise. I'm sorry but no. That doesn't work for me.

At one point I did actually say to my girlfriend "fuck you". And to the other I said, "why are you even interjecting yourself into this?" as her involvement only made matters feel more one sided and like I was being ganged up on. They certainly made me feel like the bad guy, which I said. My girlfriend can have her opinion but if I didn't agree with her or drop it I was the bad guy making a scene. 

Yeah. No. Hence the "fuck you". There's my "walk away". That's my stand down.

It's unfortunate things got to that point because once it does, as my Grandmother would say, "Goodnight Irene". I got on my phone and started looking up other places I could go. My shut down mode basically equates to Big Sean's 2015 song "I Don't Fuck With You." They wanted to save the evening but I was good with not. We went to two different bars after that, both of which I made merry in my own way. The next day was much the same. And even now, being back home and into the new work week, I find myself bristled by the whole thing. Certainly didn't need or want to spend over $700 on the weekend just to be generally disappointed and gloomy about friendships in general. I should have trusted my gut mid-week before the trip and just backed out, as our fourth girlfriend did.

You win some, you lose some. Though maybe you should just shut up some.

I Think I'll Pick A Fight

Why do people pick fights when they're tired or hungry?

Doesn't that sound like the absolute worst thing to do when you're tired or hungry; go and make the situation that much worse by making someone mad at you?

My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") decided to pick a fight Saturday after work. Not only was the poor bastard up at 5am but he fought 2 hours of traffic after work to get home. In the heat. With no air conditioner. Did I mention that he was also hangry?

Now, most people that know me would not encourage anyone, and I mean ANYONE, to start a fight with me. But this guy rolled in hot, guns loaded. Like Michael Jackson, homeboy was lookin' to be startin' somethin' - yeah yeah.

And sadly I took the bait. Well, kind of.

It's tough when someone is snappy. On the one hand you want to give them the benefit of the doubt or just take the high road but on the other hand, shit. You're probably in the same boat. Every person has their chores and worries and work bullshit and family drama. Blah blah blah. The point is that everyone has it. And if your own particular bullshit is getting too overwhelming or imbalanced, I believe it's up to that person to at the very least say something. People are not fucking mind readers and I'm not Miss Cleo, "yeah man". I come from the practical, hard knock camp of belief that you should do something about your grievances.

I engage to a certain point in an argument and then things will go in one of two directions; I either stay in the ring until the job is down or I get to a point where I just throw in the towel and walk away. I did a little bit of both with MSMF. Ultimately there's no honor in fighting with someone that you love. And that you know loves you.

There's always room to do better. Communicate more. Let stupid shit go. Love a little harder.

It's easy to get caught up in the details but what's the point? I think what matters more is to have heard or to have said "I love you" rather than some dumb shit you're probably going to feel bad about later.

So before you walk into a situation and pour gasoline all over it and yourself, as these important questions:

Am I tired?

Am I hungry?

Am I being shitty and need to check my attitude?

Don't Ask Why. Some Things Just Are.(Why So Derpy? Cont'd...)

You know, I got a little heat from My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") for tearing into our short term roommate and calling her "Derpy" or now "The Derpster" or just "The Derp".

But God damn the bitch is Derpy!

And every time I try to be nice to her or respond to one of her random questions or comments I immediately regret it the next time she does something stupid. Which is always!

Once again I went into the bathroom to find the floor mat hanging half assed off the bathtub. Completely soaked. And once again I have to ask - what in the actual FUCK is The Derp doing in the damn tub that would toss that much water out of it? More here on the first soaked rug:

https://thesillyshitwesay.blogspot.com/2021/03/why-so-derpy.html

I deduced that she must have thrown herself an at home spa day while MSMF and I were in Palm Springs. The foil wraps and smell of acetone wafting from the trash can gave her away. I was over it. I told her to dry the rug and take care of her shit. God forbid she throw away the trash and clean up after herself more than once in 4 months.

The following week she leaves for work in the morning and locks herself out. As I'm opening the door, "Forgot my keys! he he he". Yeah. Whatever Derpster.

She really outdid herself two days ago. The absolute worst absentminded derp to date.

The bloody pads in the bathroom trash, haphazardly wrapped and tossed in, absolutely grossed me out. Making matters worse they continued to build up in a nasty pile as the week went by. I swear to God I can almost smell the dank of old blood. I'm sorry ya'll but it's true. Fucking makes me gag and furious. I have to go through this every month. I haven't had a period in maybe... 10+ years, so I'm good. But even when I did have my periods I was clean. And kept my sanitary issues to myself. But nooooo, not this Derp.

I popped into the bathroom to take a shower and while changing, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.

A blood smear on the toilet seat.

I quickly turned off the shower, put my pants back on, and cleared the bathroom in a grossed out rage. I texted her, "Hey - there's blood on the toilet seat...". Her reply, "Eeek sorry I'll go clean that right now". This is just in line with the other stains and odd marks near the light switch and in the toilet that I've spotted over the last few months. Does the Derp not notice the shit stains when she uses the can? Does she not know that you should wash your hands after using the bathroom, which she doesn't?

Fuck man. Just re-reading all that makes me want to choke a bitch.

And I'm definitely not taking that damn trash out. I told her this morning, since this weekend is slated for cleaning up the place, that the trash her is her responsibility. As if that's anything. Adding a bit of passive-aggressive knife work I said, "Thanks. It's starting to smell funky."

Funky Derp.

Ugh.

Kids Should Be Seen & Not Heard

Doesn't every parent know that no one, and I mean no one, wants to hear your fucking kid screaming?

Maybe parents become desensitized from listening to years of screaming. Or maybe they think to themselves, oh they're just a kid being a kid.

No. Ok? No.

I wasn't allowed to run around, screaming at the top of my little girl lungs. And when I ventured to, my Mom was all over that shit. I know it's super old school and probably a cancelled turn of phrase, that kids should be seen and not heard, but I'm still here for it.

My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") and I were in Palm Springs last weekend. And it was awesome.

Except for the grubby ass kids screaming shit at each other even though they were face to face in the pool or jacuzzi. Kids must know they annoy the shit out of me because it never fails that they'll slowly draw closer from wherever they're hanging out, like I'm some go-fuck-yourself-kid homing beacon. Search, annoy, destroy. Repeat.

There was one girl in particular with such a high pitched scream and yell it pierced my ears. My neuro disease makes me super sensitive to lights, sounds, etc. especially when my threshold is low. After what felt like an hour of non-stop screeching I finally said "HEY! You guys. STOP! It hurts my ears. You don't need to yell. You're right next to one another and can hear each other just fine." They quieted down but as kids do, eventually their voices picked back up because they have the consideration and memories of turnip.

Kids are not smart or malicious at the age this group was at but like I said, kids and I are like magnets. After the " you can hear each other just fine" chat and their subsequent we-do-what-we-want-at-the-vocal-levels-that-we-want, MSMF and I went for a dip in the jacuzzi. Like clockwork, here they come. They just haaaadddd to go in the jacuzzi. We were out!

I recounted the interaction with the kids to a group of grown ups in the jacuzzi later the following evening to which MSMF added, "Yeah, she told them to shut up!" Now, see here. I don't think telling anyone to shut up is particularly smart or sexy. Even in the heat of an argument. No one ever listens and it just proves to piss yourself and anyone else off even more. And I certainly wouldn't tell someone else's kids to shut up! I'll tell the parents to tell their kids to shut the fuck up but I wouldn't directly tell the kids to silently drown themselves. Little pricks.

People love to make excuses for their kids bad behavior; "they're kids", "they're not hurting anyone", or "what's the big deal, they're just playing?" This is a tough one because I get it. You gotta grocery shop, you gotta travel. You gotta live life and if you have a kid it's made a shit ton harder, especially when they're really little. However, I recently read an article where someone wrote a note for a mom, her sister, and their combined 4 kids saying "kids should be seen and not heard".  The mom and sister were indignant which blew my mind. They weren't at fucking Chucky Cheese or the local playground. The kids were running around, screaming and dancing, in the middle of a restaurant.

Put a leash on those God damn things or do what my mom would do if I was acting the fool; grab the inside chonky fat of the inner thigh and pinch! That'll shut a kid right up!