Carts & Horses

I think the first major purchase in any relationship is important. It's a meaningful stepping stone which I think My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") and I have hit out of the park.

So what did we buy?

A BBQ.

Hell yeah, a BBQ! It showed up early the other morning via Amazon. Random question - is there anything you can't fucking buy from Amazon these days and have show up two days later? It's brilliant and also the devil's bidding. I'm hooked, just going to put that out there. I feel shame about it and yes, I buy local whenever possible, but Amazon has a direct credit line to my bank account. Why would I want to buy the same priced BBQ from Lowe's, wait in line, and then have to drag the thing out to my car blah blah blah when I can have it shipped to my backyard for free? I forgot we'd have to build the damn thing ourselves since it didn't come assembled but whatever.

Anyway, back to the BBQ. MSMF and I didn't think we'd see the BBQ until late in the evening as it had an expected delivery time of 9pm. This got MSMF thinking about what we were going to do for dinner if the BBQ didn't show up early.

MSMF: "So what are our dinner plans for tomorrow?"
Me: "I haven't really thought about it. Our grill might get in early but it's scheduled to show up by 9pm."
MSMF: "So what is our BBQ contingency?"
Me: "We can do pasta and a salad or something from the freezer.. Wait. What's a BBQ contingency?"
MSMF: "You know...we don't want to hook all our carriages to one horse."
Me: "Carriages to one horse? We have multiple carriages?"
MSMF: "No, you know...all our horses to one carriage."
Me: *laughing* "Now we've got multiple horses...to one carriage?" 
MSMF: "Ok, that makes no sense. It must be that we don't want multiple carriages to one horse."
Me: *laughing even harder* "Babe, I think you mean is cart before the horse. You don't want to put the cart before the horse."
MSMF: "No...wait. Yeah. It's got to be multiple carriages and the horse would drag that shit fifty yards or so..."
Me: *laughing so hard I can barely talk* "You mean you don't want to put all our eggs in one basket?"
MSMF: "And then lead the horse to water..."
Me: *crying now* "Ok, now you're just being silly. You meant to say we don't want to put the cart before the horse or that we don't want to put all our eggs in one basket by relying on the BBQ showing up for our dinner plans. That's what you meant, I think, to say...?"
MSMF: "Sure. Maybe."
Me: *laughing again* "Ok babe. I think our multiple carts hooked to one horse will be fine."

As it turns out we were fine. Hooking all our carts to one horse paid off - the BBQ showed up well before grilling time. And though MSMF's use of idioms needs some work, the burgers turned out awesome.