Sports Hostage

My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") is a slave to sports. Basketball and football specifically.

Maybe slave isn't the correct word because he loves it. Longed for it and craves it now that it's made a COVID comeback.

Me on the other hand... I could give two fucks about sports.

Having swam and played water polo from high school through college, even participating in an olympic camp, most other sports were just not in my wheelhouse. And though I'm right at six feet I have had zero, ZERO interest in volleyball or basketball or any other sport that some dumb ass would ask me if I played.

What I find obnoxious about people that love sports is how all consuming it is. To their energy. To their time and to their life.

I just love when people jump off their barstools or hop off the couch to yell at the TV. Saying "we" when talking about the plays or the team. Pissed if their team lost, souring their mood for the day/night. Dude. These guys are professionals being paid millions to run back and forth with a ball up and down the court or field. What are you getting so worked up about? You're coming apart at the seams, taking hours off your life while these guys are banging hookers and doing blow in their off time. They're not flipping their shit or losing any sleep.

In the last month I have watched more basketball then in the last 40 years. Sure it's fun when some guy hits a sweet three point shot or the stupid announcer gives a live advertisement for a hamburger and over emphasizes the "pickles on a BRIOCHE BUN!" The same announcer also overuses the term "FROM WAY DOWN TOWN!" There was one game he must have said it 10 times in 3 minutes. I swear to God if I hear that guy say "from way down town" one more time I'm going to be the one beating my partner and the cat.

From what I'm told, MSMF has lost two relationships during the football season. His friends have reasoned that his love for the sport was a key factor. I don't believe that something you love or enjoy should be a factor in ending a relationship. That says to me there are bigger problems. I support MSMF's sporting vice. I've even enjoyed the Chargers pre-season documentary, Hard Knocks. What I don't support is his enjoyment of gambling on sports. But while he's busy watching games, it allows me to write or dick around with any number of other things that I don't get to do during the workday.

I'm just looking forward to the holidays and to the end of the basketball and football seasons, whenever the hell that is.