Balding

Balding. It sucks. It's a delicate subject.

No one wants to go bald, except maybe in places where people don't want hair like the legs for women or the back for men.

Everyone in the apartment has an issue with balding.

I've lost about half my hair from Vestibular Migraines. It's a fun, nasty neurological disease that permanently altered my life as I knew it 2 years ago. I have it largely managed but one thing I have not regained is my hair. Some say it's my age but it's just too coincidental that I used to hair model occasionally before the disease and then BOOM, the disease hits and I can barely get my hair into a ponytail. That's not a god damn coincidence or age. It's called cause and effect. It's no longer thick and voluminous as it once was. I get upset about it from time to time but what the fuck can I do about it. I looked into Rogaine and for a time was going the natural route, putting black caster oil in my hair everyday. Made me look like a 1950's greaser without the rat rod. I gave it up after a month. It was gross and even more embarrassing than the hair loss.

My calico, Jaja, isn't so much balding as willfully removing all the hair from her stomach and arms. Makes it looks like she's walking around with little bobby socks. Maybe it's sympathy balding?

My Special Man Friend ("MSMF") is also thinning a little on top. I don't mention it often and neither does he because as I said it sucks and it's a delicate subject that no one can do much about.

Me: "What do you think about a chinchilla toupee?"
MSMF: *small embarrassed laugh* "Baby..."
Me: "I mean, come on. It would be pretty awesome. I loved chinchillas as a kid."
MSMF: "So we'd both score?"
Me: *laughing* "Yes."
MSMF: "Both our dreams come true, with one chinchilla?"
Me: *laughing* "Yes. It would be a pretty gangster, big pimpin' toupee."
MSMF: "Fuck that. I'm getting implants!"
Me: "Oh god. Plugs would be painful and it's too expensive."
MSMF: *staring thoughtfully silent at the ceiling*

Me: "Soooo... no chinchilla toupee then?"

No chinchilla toupee. That's ok.

What's funnier is that I love to include a picture with each post, so naturally I went to Google Images and typed "chinchilla toupee" into the search bar. While chinchilla toupees do not exist, which I thought, I was met with an entire page of chinchillas wearing hats!

Here's my favorite. There's even a website dedicated to bribed chinchillas wearing all sorts of hats - The Chinchilla Hatter.

https://chinchillahatter.tumblr.com/